“Experts” say: Your cat is raising its leg to more easily clean itself.
The truth: Forget baking classes, your cat wants to learn to play the cello now. It’s emulating the act of playing cello to get your attention. Write a check for $8,000 immediately.
9. Showing its belly to you:
“Experts” say: An exposed belly is a sign of trust.
The truth: An exposed belly is a trap. Your cat knows you can’t resist snuggling its furry belly, at which point it will attack you and feast on your flesh. Beware.
10. Staring off into space, wide-eyed
“Experts” say: Cats have keen senses, and the smallest movement will catch their attention. They probably saw a bug or a speck of dust.
The truth: Evil, skinless demons have crossed into this realm, and only your cat can see them. Run.
11. Sleeping in boxes
“Experts” say: Cats are drawn to the confined space of a box because it offers security. The truth: Your cat is having a quarter-life crisis and thinks a trip to Mozambique would offer some worldly perspective. Tape up the box, slap on some postage, and mail your kitty to Africa.
12. The “hug ‘n’ bite”
“Experts” say: Wrestling and biting is a normal part of play for cats. The truth: With its keen senses, your cat has noticed that the government-implanted tracker in your wrist is about to self-destruct and kill you. It must be removed immediately. Try to relax, your cat is attempting to save your life.
13. Chirping out the window at birds:
“Experts” say: Chattering is a reflex motion in anticipation of hunting. The truth: Your cat is actually a bird and wants to hang out with other birds. How did you not realize you bought a bird instead of a cat? You dummy.
14. Sitting on your computer when you need to work
“Experts” say: Cats like warm places, and your laptop is warm. The truth: Your cat knows how many times a day you creepstalk your ex, and has decided it’s time for an intervention.
15. Nowhere to be found, no matter how hard you look:
“Experts” say: Cats are good at hiding. Maybe he’s under your bed? The truth: Cats are time travelers. Yours is probably in feudal China right now. Don’t worry, he’ll come home soon (maybe).
Well, now they make more sense, right?! Share with friends!
(h/t: Thiswaycome )
