1Nobody tells you about the secret second life your cat will lead when you’re not around.
2Nobody tells you how easily startled they are.
3Nobody tells you how much joy it gives them to knock your shit onto the floor.
4Nobody tells you that once you get a cat, you’ll probably never be able to own a plant again because they’ll find a way to completely destroy it.
5Nobody tells you that the second a bug enters your home, your cat will find it. Immediately. And possibly eat it.
6Nobody tells you how wild they get at the most unexpected times.
7Nobody tells you that when their poo is covered in litter, it looks like Nerds Rope.
8Nobody tells you how much they enjoy lying across keyboards and notebooks, especially when you’re using them.
9Nobody tells you how cuddly they actually are, despite their antisocial reputations.
10Nobody tells you how delightfully weird they are — this is one I can’t explain. You’ll know it when you see it.
11Nobody tells you how good they are at hiding, and how many times you’ll crap your pants frantically trying to find them.
12Nobody tells you about the funny way they rotate their ears and point them backward like fuzzy little satellite dishes.
13Sure, maybe someone told you cats love boxes, but you can’t even begin to fathom just how much until you witness it yourself.
14Nobody tells you how many worst-case scenarios you’re capable of thinking up that involve your cat escaping or getting injured when you’re not home.
15Nobody tells you how fiercely they’ll pursue your dinner — that’s not just a dog thing.
16Nobody tells you just how potent catnip actually is.
17And finally, nobody tells you how gratifying it is to earn your cat’s trust. It feels better than graduating from college.
